'De - Tree - Mental' - Detrimental

Well here it is folks, nearly two years in the making, a personal account of those days when I thought I'd lost myself. This is quite an emotional moment as I begin to recollect and put into words one of the hardest trials in my life. I've always struggled to express, coherently, the feelings I endured during those dark days, but now I feel I am ready to share my story.

I write, not in pursuit of sympathy or pity, but with a deep sense of renewed hope in knowing that miracles do exist. I know many have waited for me, patiently, for this moment and my only desire now is that this journey that I've experienced serves to inspire, encourage and ignite an increased sense of faith that Heaven is indeed touching Earth.

The Dream of Three Trees

At the height of my 'illness' there was one particular moment that truly provoked a sense of fear that delved deep into the core of my being. In what can only be described as a vivid dream, I found myself faced with three trees, storm clouds gathered overhead and l was surrounded by long blades of grass that reached waist height.

The trees were all at different stages of life. The first, a tiny sapling, vulnerable, naive, seeking the rays of the sun. The second, a tree in full bloom as if at the peak of spring, birds nesting, branches bearing fruit, a tree full of life. The third, the largest tree of them all, showed no signs of life, it was dry and brittle showing all the signs of death.

It was this tree that my attention was drawn to and at the moment a menacing voice whispered in my ear: "This tree represents you, here and now. I've taken it all and you will never get it back."

I awoke from the dream screaming, cold and with a feeling that resembled emptiness, brokenness, the moment that I conceded defeat in ever getting my memory back.

It had been 4 weeks since the incident, but by far the most prominent moment, up to this point, had been this dream. Despite all the prayers, support, encouragement and the rallying of friends, family, acquaintances and strangers all around me, I must admit that this is the moment I'd lost all sense of self, of hope and of joy.

At that moment in time, I had become a shadow of my former self, going from a man who enjoyed incredible intimacy with a Heavenly Father, leading people into the presence of God, through worship, at home and across the nations, to a man that had no recollection of God, the family and friends that supported him and of himself. I'd lost it all!

  

The dream of three trees had taken everything from me. All concept of hope & joy had been drained from my heart and soul. I now felt like a failure, like I'd let so many people down, what was left was not a man, but a shell, that was simply watching life passing him by, seemingly powerless to prevent it.

Concluding note.

I hope you've enjoyed the first installment of the Christ in me, the Hope of Glory blog. The aim is to add a post on a monthly basis and I hope that you will read, share and be inspired over the coming days, months and years by the message of this blog.

I have been overwhelmed by the unending support of friends, family and well-wishers in encouraging me to make this blog a reality. Please do share it as you never know, you could be changing the life of someone you know.

Thank you.

Daniel Waldron.