For the critics

In the writing of this blog a number of people have questioned whether any of it is real. A valid question and I had a choice to make.

I could either completely lose it and say what a stupid question, but I instead have chosen to adopt this response. It was real to me, it was real for my family and it was real for my friends, enough said.

Decide for yourself, I am not going to start justifying the story.The pain of it is too much to bear and to have my integrity questioned hurts. Yes I'm not perfect, but who is? 

The spiritual encounters well that's open to interpretation as I appreciate that not everyone has seen the supernatural. You don't have to take my word for it. However, I can only describe what I saw and the fact that I saw it in such detail makes it real to me.

You can take it or leave it, believe it or not, my only reason for writing this is to inspire and encourage, not to create debate. 

What happened to me happened, it happened publicly. I fell from a great height, through natural eyes I lost a lot. Leader of the worship team, close relationship with the pastor, everyone WOWING your worship. A life of 'success', from a natural perspective, gone.

I've had to sever ties with some 'friends' who were glad this happened to me. When I asked them why? Their response was: 'We envied you, it has knocked you off your perch'. 

I didn't realise I was on a perch, but hey, this is people, this is life and I'm learning to live with the notion that it probably says more about them than me.

Do I still make mistakes after this experience? Yes. Does it hurt to have something taken away that I was building when I didn't expect it? Yes.

However, and here is where I want the doubters to take stock, is it ABOUT ME? No!

The experience happened to me, but it's not about me, it's about the glory of a God I believe in and trust completely. 

It saddens me that people have questioned my experience. There's nothing more real than losing everything you've known in your own head, spending endless nights in hospital wondering what's going to happen next, will I live or die? Will I ever know my family and friends again?

The rest is just stuff. My life is not defined by me being a worship leader, being on a core team, being behind a microphone, it's defined by who I am in God and who I am as a son.

I'm also not defined by this blog and responses to this blog. However, for the time being I've taken the decision to temporarily stop writing the blog in order to gather some perspective and re-focus the blog on God and not in answering 'critics' who would begrudge a person writing about a terrible experience in order to inspire.

I do not wish to cause offence and raise feelings of envy.

Until further notice...

For those who have read the blog and offered your unwavering support, thank you. 

The blog will return in due course.